My strange but biggest fear in going to Panama
I’m currently on U.S. soil, but tomorrow I will be flying away to Panama. Visiting another country always carries an element of risk. You don’t know the language, culture, legalities, or your way around. So I’m a little nervous, no, a LOT nervous, about going to Panama. But there is one thing in particular I’m afraid of.
(If you missed why I’m heading to Panama, go here.)
So here it is: The One Thing I’m Most Afraid of in Panama. There is more than one thing, but the biggest is at the bottom.
(Only slightly worried.)
Apparently petty theft is rampant in Panama. If you mix petty thefters with a girl who is constantly littering her belongings everywhere, it’s a recipe for disaster.
I love, love, loved my job as a barista. I cannot remember 1 day, or even 1 hour, that I was bored while at work. There was always a portafilter to clean, an espresso cup to wash out, or flavor syrups that need refilled.
And then there was the stream of customers who asked me quirky questions about coffee or even begged me to let them behind the counter so THEY could make ME a drink. (I remember saying, “Don’t you have it backwards? I’m the barista.”)
Never boring, and I loved it. (The smell of coffee was heavenly, too.)
In Panama, though, I can’t work, because I’m not a citizen. So I THINK I’ll be able to keep myself busy, but I’m worried it won’t be the always-something-to-do lifestyle I love.
My biggest fear: falling in love
I’m afraid I’ll fall in love.
Not with a person. Heck no. (An inability to speak the language would make dating immeasurably more difficult than it already is!)
So no, not with a person. I’m afraid I’ll lose my head and fall in love with Panama. I’m afraid I won’t want to leave.
Right now, I know that’s crazy. Here in the U.S., I have a bazillion things to be thankful for. I have many things I wouldn’t have in Panama: fairly good understanding of laws, a big family, long-known friends, familiarity with different regions, a good justice system, etc.
But still…people tend to “put down roots” wherever they are. They adjust. And sure, I want to LOVE Panama. I want to learn Spanish. But I don’t want to NOT want to leave. I don’t want to tear my heart out leaving Panama, like I had to tear it out leaving the U.S.
So that’s it. A really quick post. (Family and friends, make sure to read Five Things I Haven’t Told You About Panama.)